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Friday, September 23, 2016

The Problem With the Free Hugs Guy


God, I feel like the guy who shit in the Christmas stocking. I say "the guy" like there's a designated dude who does this. Did he not visit you? Maybe this year. It certainly wouldn't be out of line for 2016. In that particular theme of shittiness, I'm here to take away something you love. The Free Hugs guy. Or me, if you really aren't convinced, I suppose.

The Free Hugs Project was started by Ken Nwadike. It was a direct response to the tragedy that was the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings. Wearing a black t-shirt that says "Free Hugs" and accompanied by a cameraman, Nwadike goes all over the country giving out free hugs. It's a fairly simple premise that hopefully doesn't require any more explanation than that.

Long story short, this guy grows more and more famous as time goes on, netting all sorts of media attention and countless YouTube views. Everyone, for the most part, loves this guy. He's giving out free hugs! He's promoting peace! What's not to like there? It's a pretty neutral message, when you come right down to it. Not really something that anyone in good conscience can say they disagree with. The notion that everyone deserves love is a hard thing to sneer at, even for the most ardent of cynics.

And yet.

Nwadike, presumably upon hearing of the recent protests in response to the police shooting of a black man in Charlotte, NC, donned the black shirt and headed to North Carolina. He was not received well.


In case you skipped watching the video, because you're a lazy piece of shit with something BETTER to do with your Friday night (you fucking animal), Nwadike hugs a police officer and the crowd of protesters immediately turn on him, calling him a "pussy nigga."

The semantics of that particular phrase aside, the crowd sort of had a point. What the fuck was this guy doing? Granted, the facts surrounding the shooting are still foggy. Mainly because we have a justice system that likes to keep it that way for the sake of anti-transparency and shrouding any and all police activity in mystery. But still. Should we hate these particular cops for the shooting of Keith Lamont Scott? Maybe not.

But also, maybe we shouldn't be hugging cops and espousing their humanity in the face of tragedy carried out....by the cops. It's a fine line between respect and adoration, and Nwadike's embracing of the police officers as part of an attempt to "humanize" them is giving them far more of a benefit of the doubt than has ever been given to the protesters, who have been called any number of racist and dehumanizing things. It's hard to say that we shouldn't respect the idea of peace and humanity in all people, regardless of station. But it's also irresponsible to attempt to elevate people who are already on the top floor looking down.

What Nwadike misses in his uplifting diatribe about the humanity in all of us, is that he's literally preaching to the choir. The entire point of the protests are to establish, in the face of widespread ignorance and hatred, that black men and women are human beings, worthy of the same respect and consideration granted to other, less marginalized people. And one could argue that Nwadike is attempting to educate his own community of black men and women on the inherent decency that should be granted to all of us, regardless of position. One could argue this, perhaps, if Nwadike's primary audience was black men and women. But, by my count (and this is admittedly flawed), people who are absorbing Nwadike's message the most, are white people who don't want to feel guilty about being complicit in systemic racism.

Indeed, much of the problem with Nwadike's video is less about him (although he is problematic) and more about the people sharing it. It allows a certain creeping sleeper-racism in the form of pseudo-acceptance. It really says something that when presented with the tragic death of a black man, white people are sharing a video of a black man hugging the cops. You can almost feel "one of the good ones" on the very tip of each of their tongues. It's that same "All Lives Matter" rhetoric that has so thoroughly already been proven as racist bullshit.

So the Free Hugs Guy, while seemingly nice, is problematic. It's a hard pill to swallow. No one will blame you for having trouble with it. But it's important to note that just because the package comes in a nicely wrapped, beautifully worded peace offering, doesn't mean it isn't still full of shit.

Monday, September 19, 2016

Pat McCrory Stands Amongst Crushed Beer Cans


Complex amalgamation of reanimated human parts, Pat McCrory, took time off his busy bathroom inspection schedule to toss around the ol' pigskin in Boone this past Saturday. Under the guise of being there to watch the football game, McCrory bravely met with his most critical constituents: football fans.

McCrory managed to net a few pictures with nondescript white folks while he was there, prompting anyone nearby to scatter for fear they might be roped in next. Here are a few embarrassing pictures of McCrory with several people he later consumed for energy.

"Help ussssss"

"Please. He's....growing...too...powerful..."

But the picture that really says it all is the above shot of McCrory posing with a football amongst a field of crushed beer cans. The beer cans, in this case, are a metaphor for North Carolina. First of all, though, who decided that THIS was the shot? You have the governor, presumably the most respectable office in the land, and you take a picture of him weakly holding a football in between emptied cans of Miller and PBR?

I guess it isn't particularly surprising that a guy made famous for opening his mouth and releasing a pound of bullshit every time doesn't really take PR into account. After all, McCrory is a man of the people. He wears a yellow polo! He doesn't need your stinkin' advice on relating to the public.

I don't know if McCrory stayed for the game, but if he did, I imagine it involved a big cheesy smile and diving for the microphone whenever it was up for grabs. The reality is that McCrory's primary directive has only ever been to make himself look good, at the expense of having to answer for his own assclown-ery. One need look no further than...last Thursday. McCrory, answering questions at an event, decided that journalists were too mean and instead fielded questions from the much nicer members of his staff.

We'll see how well this goes in his concession speech in November.

Monday, September 12, 2016

Player Protest Pretty Pitiful


When I was a kid, we used to set off little (legal) fireworks in the driveway. They were fun and the anticipation of lighting them and then running away to watch them go off was about 50% of the fun. Every once and a while, though, one wouldn't go off. It would just stand there like a fucking idiot and I'd be left sort of empty, the momentum of the anticipation gone in an instant.

The Seattle Seahawks had big plans for Sunday. Which made sense, considering it was a big day. It was the 15th anniversary of 9/11, the first big home game of the season and a chance to add to the conversation started by Colin Kaepernick. Posting on Twitter, Seahawks wide receiver, Doug Baldwin, started the big rollout with this cryptic tweet:

Initial rumors started spreading that the Seahawks were planning a team-wide protest for the game. Reports said that the players were going to link arms during the national anthem. Doug Baldwin, now being hailed as the "de facto Seahawks spokesman" sort of confirmed this with a sappy video posted to Twitter the day before the game.

In essence, there was a lot of PR buildup towards....something. We weren't really sure. I didn't go to the game, despite living about five minutes from the stadium, but that doesn't matter because I effectively received the same message. Which was jack shit.

Granted, they did link arms (while standing, that is) and, as Baldwin said on Friday: "We never said it was a protest." Sure. Whatever. That's actually not the point. The point is that you used the momentum, knowing full well what people would perceive it as, for your own gain. As part of some toothless act of "building a bridge." The obvious stank of All Lives Matter bullshit aside, this pledge of unity didn't really say anything at all. Maybe that the Seahawks want to build more bridges? Did they mean literal bridges?

Look, it's fine if you wanted to stand in unity for the victims of 9/11. That is A-okay. And, hell, it is fine if you don't want to sit down or kneel in support of Colin Kaepernick (though it should be noted that Seahawks cornerback Jeremy Lane sat during the anthem before the preseason game against Oakland a couple of weeks back). It's really your prerogative. But, again, using the national atmosphere and teasing a big protest that ends with you rattling off vague statements like "listen to our message" is kind of shitty. Also, what message?

In contrast to the hullabaloo started by Baldwin, several members of the Miami Dolphins (the opposing team during yesterday's game) kneeled in solidarity with Kaepernick and his (actual) message.

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Gary!


Libertarian Party presidential nominee and cool-guy dad, Gary Johnson, took time off from smoking pot in the garage with your friends to appear on Morning Joe yesterday. It did not go well.


Apparently still high, Johnson was stumped by MSNBC panelist Mike Barnicle's question about Aleppo.
“And what is Aleppo?”
The hottest club this side of the Mississippi? Cholesterol medication? A type of fancy cheese?
"You’re kidding."
No, Mike. Stop being a dick and tell us already!
"Aleppo is in Syria. It's the epicenter of the refugee crisis."
Ah. Hm. Well, I can confidently say that many of us probably wouldn't know the answer to that question.

Many of us are also not running for president. :/