Supporters of NC Bill Remain Stupid, Unjustified

I don't typically like to dwell on topics, particularly if I've dedicated blog space to them in the past week. But sometimes things are just too important to pass up. Or, in this case, too stupid. Maybe a little bit of both. I don't know. If you seriously aren't up to date on the current situation, here's a recap, I guess:

North Carolina. Bill. Anti-anti-discriminatory. Bad! McCrory. BAD! LGBTQ. Angry. Rightfully so. Other states. NC = Stupid. People = Stupid. Rightfully so.

Somehow, over the course of human history, the gene that produces unbelievably stupid thoughts has managed to survive, thereby maintaining the primordial ooze coating the bottom of humanity's barrel. Unfortunately, it has been given voice over time as well, allowing it to spout trite and moronic statements about people, cultures and ways of life it knows nothing about. Even more unfortunate, with the advent of Facebook and Twitter, that voice has been given an amplified sound room inside which it may vociferate endlessly.

In light of just about every single level-headed human in the country asking North Carolina what the fuck happened, those in support of the bill have responded with characteristic poise and, let's face it, indifference.

It’s a whole lot of hullabaloo from the LGBT community and the Human Rights Campaign about something they either haven’t read or have chosen to blow up into an election-year issue. All’s the bill did was protect women and children in bathrooms.

That would be your Lieutenant Governor, Dan Forest (Lt. Dan), speaking to The Hollywood Reporter. Forest, who is arguably the craziest of the bunch, is keen on reminding people that "the South is a great place to live" and that it just gets "a bad rap" from people (like Rob Reiner, evidently) that don't understand it. Forest also goes on to shrug off complaints from the Human Rights Campaign ("I guess the HRC is trying to tell people we were putting one over on them, but that wasn’t the case at all."), Hollywood ("If Hollywood doesn’t like that, I’m sorry. But the reality is, Hollywood hasn’t read the bill."), the NBA ("I guarantee you the NBA doesn’t know anything about this. They never do.") and LGBTQ activists ("I put them with the HRC and other folks who are clamoring for equality, knowing that it’s not really what they want. They’re looking for their demands to be met and they don’t care about the others in the state who don’t agree with them.").

To Forest, everyone is clamoring over nothing. Why can't they understand that we're helping, Forest wonders. Indeed, this narrative pervades throughout his Conservative base, with many people taking to Facebook to air their grievances with an unsurprising lack of thought and consideration.

The central, and perhaps most problematic, point that keeps circling back around is that the bill is the only thing standing in the way of a free-for-all sexual assault-fest in bathrooms across the state. People who probably didn't give two and a half shits about the prospect of women and children being assaulted before are now gathering around the moronic notion that opening up bathrooms to people of all identities will release the floodgates of rape. Evidently, rapists and sexual predators have been waiting on the edge of their seats for legal allowance to carry out their crimes. Because, if there's anything we know about sexual predators, it's their capacity for restraint.

Somehow, in the wake of one of the most sweeping discriminatory acts against the LGBTQ people in history, the Republicans of North Carolina have managed to spin this as gay activists trying to strong-arm the government and get their way. As long as they can continue churning out rhetoric like "religious freedom" in opposition, they will frame one of the most marginalized groups in the state as power-hungry thugs, intent on dismantling society as we know it.

And people are listening to this rhetoric. And buying into it. Which is sad, really. Because it means that it's convincing enough for free-thinking individuals to go along with. I joke that stupidity is what's grinding these ideals forth, but that isn't fair. It's ignorance; ignorance guided by malicious manipulation. On the bright side, ignorance can be cured. It's a long, bloody and irritating process, but it is possible. I challenge you to do that. Wherever you see it, I imbue you with the power to cure ignorance with facts and logic. Don't worry, you are in surplus here.

People will urge you to be respectful and nice to others who challenge your ideals. Fuck that. Shout about it. Make a scene. Take your pants off and spin them over your head whilst reciting your opposition to discriminatory practices. You don't owe bigotry a conceded floor because it already owns the floor. You aren't pleading a leveled defense to an open-minded court. You're trying to get through to some asshole with his fingers in his ears. So be a little ornery and don't hold back. We want them to hear you.

North Carolina Overturns Anti-Discrimination Ordinance, Etc.

Sometimes, news fills you with joy. It inspires you, drawing upon that font of pure positivity that too often lies dormant in your heart, swelling to incredible sizes and bringing back that twinkle in your eye.

And sometimes, news makes you want to gouge your eyes out with rusty nails. I'm afraid this is a case of the latter.

On Wednesday, henceforth known to us as Inexplicable Bigotry Day, North Carolina lawmakers came together to ensure that anti-discrimination laws would no longer plague the state. And in record time! Indeed, over the course of (LESS THAN) nine hours, a law making body wrote and signed a bill into law, something which only occurs if the building is infested with blood-sucking snakes or a group of scheming ne'er-do-wells wants to score cheap political points with their Conservative base. This instance demonstrates a little bit of both.

The bill, signed into law by B-movie extra and combover advocate, Governor Pat McCrory, in addition to overturning Charlotte's anti-discrimination ordinance, "prevents any local governments from passing their own non-discrimination ordinances, mandates that students in the state’s schools use bathrooms corresponding to the gender on their birth certificate, and prevents cities from enacting minimum wages higher than the state’s."

Not only can businesses return to turning away customers based on gender identity or sexual orientation, but McCrory has now successfully barred any legislative bodies from fighting back against him, rendering them impotent. As a representative of a party that so often screeches about the overuse and oppressive nature of big government, McCrory seems out of step with this oppressive piece of legislation. How can someone who ostensibly creams his pants at the sight of "Don't tread on me" be so willfully authoritarian? Well, by appealing to fear of course!

Indeed, like any good fear monger, McCrory has gleefully played on the anxieties of parents of schoolchildren by ensuring that this new bill would combat the numerous sexual assaults and privacy concerns he has conjured out of thin air.

"I have signed legislation passed by a bipartisan majority to stop this breach of basic privacy and etiquette which was to go into effect April 1."

The implication being that opening up bathrooms to people who identify as the vague little human drawn on front, biology be damned, will result in mass chaos and the destabilization of society as we know it. Now where has that bullshit logic been used before...

McCrory is a jackass, plain and simple. But the Republicans and Democrats in the General Assembly and in the Senate that allowed and voted for this to happen are even worse. Because people expect a governor of a certain stripe to show his true colors and flaunt them proudly. But someone given the task of legislating and deliberating over said legislation have the duty, nay the moral obligation, to assure that the rights of ALL people within the state they preside over are protected.

Buying into the absurd narrative that gay activists are coming to demand entitlement from small businesses and force their views down people's throats has led to an overwhelmingly stupid conclusion. But stupidity, at least is forgivable. This has done real damage. This will affect the lives of LGBTQ peoples who, even when given the right to marry, still struggle every day to be accepted by society. It will affect the integrity of a system that, while corrupt on a statewide level, at least had pockets of progressive sanity to keep it afloat. And, honestly, worst of all, it will affect children who, looking to live the normal lives their peers enjoy, will be barred from that normality and forced to languish in a place of confusion and fear. Where they will be forced to listen to grown men and women tell them that what they are is abnormal and unworthy of protection under the law. Where they will continue, as has been the case for many before them, to look in the mirror and wonder, "Why won't society accept me for who I am?"

You can read the bill here.

Roy Cooper Best Option For Less Embarrassing NC

Although yesterday's news cycle was mostly dominated by news casters bloviating on Clinton, an arguably more important event was taking place closer to home. Roy Cooper, North Carolina's Attorney General and Ralph Lauren catalog model, clinched (as they say) the Democratic nomination for governor.

Well known for his role in the Duke lacrosse case of 2007 and generally not being an insufferably conservative blowhard, Cooper is NC's best shot at removing Pat McCrory from office. McCrory, who likes to play footsies with Duke Energy and who Queen of the Damned, Ann Coulter once proposed as an ideal VP for a Trump presidency, has also won his party's nomination, unsurprisingly.

Now, it's a vicious cage match between the two veteran politicians. A spokesman for the Republican Governor's Association has already taken a shot at Cooper, calling him “an out-of-touch career politician … with a consistent record of supporting bigger government, higher taxes, more regulation, expanding Obamacare and other liberal job killing policies.”

Needless to say, the GOP is ready for a fight. Luckily, Cooper is too. During his victory speech last night, he pledged to put North Carolina on "the right path" and urged votes to "come together and get ready for the battle ahead in November." Additionally, he took the chance to tie McCrory to America's least effective toupee model, Trump (née Drumpf). Unreliable sources report that, upon hearing this, McCrory replied, "Who, me?" while fanning himself and sighing forlornly out the window.

Beating an incumbent is hard, as history shows, but Cooper has demonstrated a real fighting chance, raising $5.7 million to McCrory's $4.3 million. Setting aside the fact that Cooper is a relatively moderate democrat (except in the eyes of foaming-at-the-mouth conservatives who think that any time the government farts, it's exercising its control over small business), he is the ideal candidate in this race, PURELY because he is not McCrory. Not typically one for opting for an "anything but ___" mindset, I can confidently say I would rather have anything but a Republican governor in office right now. Especially if that Republican governor has a history of questionable dealings and firmly rooted ties to corrupt organizations.

We have a real chance to shake off the irritatingly red monkey currently digging its claws in our back right now and elect someone who will, at the very least, put North Carolina back into the same sentence as "progressive." Also, he seems nice.

Vote Roy Cooper: Better to Look At; Better to Lead