Angry Blogger Confused By Silence

Professional celebrity blogger and Microsoft Paint amateur, Perez Hilton, simply cannot abide silence. This is evident by the fact that he has a podcast, which is essentially blogging with your mouth. Hilton, in the wake of the tragedy in Orlando, has called out several famous people for not giving their internet condolences to the victims. This, he says, is bullshit.

Via an email sent to Broadly, Hilton further cements his anger about several ultra-famous people not taking to their keyboards:

"[Pop stars] may claim they don't have to comment on social events. Or every social event. Or they may think it's too political to touch. And to all that I say: Bullshit! This is a human and a global issue. They don't have to mention guns or laws. But I believe that every single person that uses social media on the regular—famous or not—has a responsibility to this world to speak on this atrocity! We must all speak on it!"

Excuse me. I misspoke. Hilton is mad at everyone who has not updated their Facebook status. A tragedy on top of a tragedy. In a fit of journalism, Broadly decided to take this confusion and run with it, dedicating an entire article to documenting pop stars who have failed to react to Orlando and how they've reacted to other tragedies in the past. I can smell the Pulitzer.

So, what I've learned is that you don't really care about a tragedy unless you talk about. And really only if you talk about it via social media. You see, in 2016, our moral compass is entirely guided by celebrities and their opinions via Twitter and Facebook. If a gunman walks into a club and shoots dozens of innocent people, and Taylor Swift isn't around to Instagram about it, did it really happen? How will we know how to feel?

Hilton asserts that pop stars are inherently imbued with the duty to comment on tragedies. Why? He doesn't really say. Just that we should all follow their lead and comment on things. Hilton says little of whether or not you should actually DO anything, or help in any way. Just that you should talk about it. But not really talk about it so much as make a self-congratulatory status that elevates you above your peers because you're "aware" of current events. It's what the cool kids are doing. (Or what they should be doing! *shakes fist at cool kids*)

Whenever you think that perhaps adding another navel-gazing unindented paragraph to the mix of other similar Facebook posts might not be a good nor useful idea, you should fucking check yourself and listen to Perez Hilton. The man himself. The public servant of trite observations about people who make a lot of money. You should comment on it.

Make a fucking difference.

Plz Vote For Hillary

Hi, how are you? Long time since we talked, I know. Why don't you have a seat? So look.....how do I put this? You know Hillary Clinton? Former Secretary of State? Yes.....yeah, the Benghazi one. Ok but sh-......yes, the email one.

LOOK.

I understand she isn't, well, ideal. In fact, she's fairly far from ideal. I know we were all like "Bernieeeeeeee!" Shit, I still am. Bernie Sanders was a great display of grassroots support and an indication that, at least to some extent, American politics can be put back into the hands of American people. Additionally, the same was shown to be true for the other side. Donald Trump's ascension to the "presumptive" Republican nominee for President is, whether you like it or not, an incredible showing of the will of, well, SOME of the American people.

Unfortunately, conservatives have always been better at rallying around mindless rhetoric and made-up problems than liberals have (though we sure do try our best!) so Trump did a bit better than his liberal counterpart. This is truly unfortunate. But, I'm afraid this is the world we live in.

So, uh, I know you're really not going to like this, but: Please vote for Hillary. I get it. We spent all this time coming up with all sorts of fun (and, in retrospect, a little sexist) nicknames for her to get across our point that we do not want to see her in the White House. But, guys, she's our best bet at this point. The "lesser of two evils" approach is a sorry way to decide the future of a country, but times is hard.

You don't have to get all hyped up about it. You don't even have to post anything on the Internet. So, you know, at least one really good thing will come of this.

I could sit here all day and tell you why Bernie isn't going to win the nomination. Some of it does have to do with corruption. Although corruption is a strong word. I'd go with "unfair collusion" more than anything. Does the DNC favor Hillary? Yep. Can we do anything about that? Not really. It's sort of the Democratic party's prerogative to choose the candidate they want to throw support behind.

Could Bernie still win? I mean, shit, I guess so. Fuckin' Ralph Nader could theoretically win, but I doubt he will. The fact of the matter is, Bernie Sanders appeals to you and me because we are firmly in his base. White, middle class and college educated. (I assume this is my audience?) Bernie appealed to us months ago and has continued to do so since. We've mistaken our own momentum for a rolling snowball of support. It was probably more like a wooden wheel. For clarification, wood does not collect other wood while rolling down hills. At least not to my knowledge.

POINT BEING: Bernie appealed to a large group of people, but not large enough to win him the nomination. He was never able to secure the black vote, which is why D.C. is going to be a bust. He could hijack the convention, but it's unlikely. But hell, if he does secure the votes at the convention by some miracle, by all means throw support behind him. I would expect nothing less than the rallying of the entire Democratic party behind their nominee.

No matter who it is. This includes Hillary Clinton. Please, for the love of God, vote for Hillary if she wins the nomination. Because there is, realistically, only one other option. And he's really fucking dangerous.

It's really easy for us, as white, middle class, college educated "idealists" to give symbolic votes to Bernie for the sake of progress, the future and other shit we can afford to bask in. Unfortunately for the millions of undocumented workers/people/terrified shitless human beings in America, a symbolic vote for Bernie will do little for their current crisis of "Holy shit, is this loud orange American really going to throw us out?"

So, again, VOTE FOR HILLARY. Just do it quietly. You don't have to tell anyone. I'll keep your secret. You can still keep all the Bernie stickers and shit, I imagine. Like, I don't think he's going to ask for it back.

Barack Obama just endorsed Hillary Clinton. Remember Barack? Cool guy. I really like him. So do millions of young and black voters. She's pretty much secured this shit. It is what it is. Bernie has opened some exciting doors and some great dialogue, but now it's time to stop something very bad from happening. Don't stop supporting Bernie, but stop not supporting Hillary.

Plz?

Supporters of NC Bill Remain Stupid, Unjustified

I don't typically like to dwell on topics, particularly if I've dedicated blog space to them in the past week. But sometimes things are just too important to pass up. Or, in this case, too stupid. Maybe a little bit of both. I don't know. If you seriously aren't up to date on the current situation, here's a recap, I guess:

North Carolina. Bill. Anti-anti-discriminatory. Bad! McCrory. BAD! LGBTQ. Angry. Rightfully so. Other states. NC = Stupid. People = Stupid. Rightfully so.

Somehow, over the course of human history, the gene that produces unbelievably stupid thoughts has managed to survive, thereby maintaining the primordial ooze coating the bottom of humanity's barrel. Unfortunately, it has been given voice over time as well, allowing it to spout trite and moronic statements about people, cultures and ways of life it knows nothing about. Even more unfortunate, with the advent of Facebook and Twitter, that voice has been given an amplified sound room inside which it may vociferate endlessly.

In light of just about every single level-headed human in the country asking North Carolina what the fuck happened, those in support of the bill have responded with characteristic poise and, let's face it, indifference.

It’s a whole lot of hullabaloo from the LGBT community and the Human Rights Campaign about something they either haven’t read or have chosen to blow up into an election-year issue. All’s the bill did was protect women and children in bathrooms.

That would be your Lieutenant Governor, Dan Forest (Lt. Dan), speaking to The Hollywood Reporter. Forest, who is arguably the craziest of the bunch, is keen on reminding people that "the South is a great place to live" and that it just gets "a bad rap" from people (like Rob Reiner, evidently) that don't understand it. Forest also goes on to shrug off complaints from the Human Rights Campaign ("I guess the HRC is trying to tell people we were putting one over on them, but that wasn’t the case at all."), Hollywood ("If Hollywood doesn’t like that, I’m sorry. But the reality is, Hollywood hasn’t read the bill."), the NBA ("I guarantee you the NBA doesn’t know anything about this. They never do.") and LGBTQ activists ("I put them with the HRC and other folks who are clamoring for equality, knowing that it’s not really what they want. They’re looking for their demands to be met and they don’t care about the others in the state who don’t agree with them.").

To Forest, everyone is clamoring over nothing. Why can't they understand that we're helping, Forest wonders. Indeed, this narrative pervades throughout his Conservative base, with many people taking to Facebook to air their grievances with an unsurprising lack of thought and consideration.

The central, and perhaps most problematic, point that keeps circling back around is that the bill is the only thing standing in the way of a free-for-all sexual assault-fest in bathrooms across the state. People who probably didn't give two and a half shits about the prospect of women and children being assaulted before are now gathering around the moronic notion that opening up bathrooms to people of all identities will release the floodgates of rape. Evidently, rapists and sexual predators have been waiting on the edge of their seats for legal allowance to carry out their crimes. Because, if there's anything we know about sexual predators, it's their capacity for restraint.

Somehow, in the wake of one of the most sweeping discriminatory acts against the LGBTQ people in history, the Republicans of North Carolina have managed to spin this as gay activists trying to strong-arm the government and get their way. As long as they can continue churning out rhetoric like "religious freedom" in opposition, they will frame one of the most marginalized groups in the state as power-hungry thugs, intent on dismantling society as we know it.

And people are listening to this rhetoric. And buying into it. Which is sad, really. Because it means that it's convincing enough for free-thinking individuals to go along with. I joke that stupidity is what's grinding these ideals forth, but that isn't fair. It's ignorance; ignorance guided by malicious manipulation. On the bright side, ignorance can be cured. It's a long, bloody and irritating process, but it is possible. I challenge you to do that. Wherever you see it, I imbue you with the power to cure ignorance with facts and logic. Don't worry, you are in surplus here.

People will urge you to be respectful and nice to others who challenge your ideals. Fuck that. Shout about it. Make a scene. Take your pants off and spin them over your head whilst reciting your opposition to discriminatory practices. You don't owe bigotry a conceded floor because it already owns the floor. You aren't pleading a leveled defense to an open-minded court. You're trying to get through to some asshole with his fingers in his ears. So be a little ornery and don't hold back. We want them to hear you.

North Carolina Overturns Anti-Discrimination Ordinance, Etc.

Sometimes, news fills you with joy. It inspires you, drawing upon that font of pure positivity that too often lies dormant in your heart, swelling to incredible sizes and bringing back that twinkle in your eye.

And sometimes, news makes you want to gouge your eyes out with rusty nails. I'm afraid this is a case of the latter.

On Wednesday, henceforth known to us as Inexplicable Bigotry Day, North Carolina lawmakers came together to ensure that anti-discrimination laws would no longer plague the state. And in record time! Indeed, over the course of (LESS THAN) nine hours, a law making body wrote and signed a bill into law, something which only occurs if the building is infested with blood-sucking snakes or a group of scheming ne'er-do-wells wants to score cheap political points with their Conservative base. This instance demonstrates a little bit of both.

The bill, signed into law by B-movie extra and combover advocate, Governor Pat McCrory, in addition to overturning Charlotte's anti-discrimination ordinance, "prevents any local governments from passing their own non-discrimination ordinances, mandates that students in the state’s schools use bathrooms corresponding to the gender on their birth certificate, and prevents cities from enacting minimum wages higher than the state’s."

Not only can businesses return to turning away customers based on gender identity or sexual orientation, but McCrory has now successfully barred any legislative bodies from fighting back against him, rendering them impotent. As a representative of a party that so often screeches about the overuse and oppressive nature of big government, McCrory seems out of step with this oppressive piece of legislation. How can someone who ostensibly creams his pants at the sight of "Don't tread on me" be so willfully authoritarian? Well, by appealing to fear of course!

Indeed, like any good fear monger, McCrory has gleefully played on the anxieties of parents of schoolchildren by ensuring that this new bill would combat the numerous sexual assaults and privacy concerns he has conjured out of thin air.

"I have signed legislation passed by a bipartisan majority to stop this breach of basic privacy and etiquette which was to go into effect April 1."

The implication being that opening up bathrooms to people who identify as the vague little human drawn on front, biology be damned, will result in mass chaos and the destabilization of society as we know it. Now where has that bullshit logic been used before...

McCrory is a jackass, plain and simple. But the Republicans and Democrats in the General Assembly and in the Senate that allowed and voted for this to happen are even worse. Because people expect a governor of a certain stripe to show his true colors and flaunt them proudly. But someone given the task of legislating and deliberating over said legislation have the duty, nay the moral obligation, to assure that the rights of ALL people within the state they preside over are protected.

Buying into the absurd narrative that gay activists are coming to demand entitlement from small businesses and force their views down people's throats has led to an overwhelmingly stupid conclusion. But stupidity, at least is forgivable. This has done real damage. This will affect the lives of LGBTQ peoples who, even when given the right to marry, still struggle every day to be accepted by society. It will affect the integrity of a system that, while corrupt on a statewide level, at least had pockets of progressive sanity to keep it afloat. And, honestly, worst of all, it will affect children who, looking to live the normal lives their peers enjoy, will be barred from that normality and forced to languish in a place of confusion and fear. Where they will be forced to listen to grown men and women tell them that what they are is abnormal and unworthy of protection under the law. Where they will continue, as has been the case for many before them, to look in the mirror and wonder, "Why won't society accept me for who I am?"

You can read the bill here.

Roy Cooper Best Option For Less Embarrassing NC

Although yesterday's news cycle was mostly dominated by news casters bloviating on Clinton, an arguably more important event was taking place closer to home. Roy Cooper, North Carolina's Attorney General and Ralph Lauren catalog model, clinched (as they say) the Democratic nomination for governor.

Well known for his role in the Duke lacrosse case of 2007 and generally not being an insufferably conservative blowhard, Cooper is NC's best shot at removing Pat McCrory from office. McCrory, who likes to play footsies with Duke Energy and who Queen of the Damned, Ann Coulter once proposed as an ideal VP for a Trump presidency, has also won his party's nomination, unsurprisingly.

Now, it's a vicious cage match between the two veteran politicians. A spokesman for the Republican Governor's Association has already taken a shot at Cooper, calling him “an out-of-touch career politician … with a consistent record of supporting bigger government, higher taxes, more regulation, expanding Obamacare and other liberal job killing policies.”

Needless to say, the GOP is ready for a fight. Luckily, Cooper is too. During his victory speech last night, he pledged to put North Carolina on "the right path" and urged votes to "come together and get ready for the battle ahead in November." Additionally, he took the chance to tie McCrory to America's least effective toupee model, Trump (née Drumpf). Unreliable sources report that, upon hearing this, McCrory replied, "Who, me?" while fanning himself and sighing forlornly out the window.

Beating an incumbent is hard, as history shows, but Cooper has demonstrated a real fighting chance, raising $5.7 million to McCrory's $4.3 million. Setting aside the fact that Cooper is a relatively moderate democrat (except in the eyes of foaming-at-the-mouth conservatives who think that any time the government farts, it's exercising its control over small business), he is the ideal candidate in this race, PURELY because he is not McCrory. Not typically one for opting for an "anything but ___" mindset, I can confidently say I would rather have anything but a Republican governor in office right now. Especially if that Republican governor has a history of questionable dealings and firmly rooted ties to corrupt organizations.

We have a real chance to shake off the irritatingly red monkey currently digging its claws in our back right now and elect someone who will, at the very least, put North Carolina back into the same sentence as "progressive." Also, he seems nice.

Vote Roy Cooper: Better to Look At; Better to Lead

Margaret Spellings Found to Be Overwhelmingly the Worst

Noted homophobe and former Bush crony, Margaret Spellings, will be ascending to the position of UNC School System President this coming Tuesday, putting the final nail in the coffin that now holds the brittle bones of North Carolina's progressive movement. Spellings, who is the worst, is slated to accept changes made by the Republican-run UNC Board of Governors with gusto and regularity, because the checks-and-balances system of government is dead. 

Momentarily dismounting her broom and stifling a cackle, Spelling had this to say (as reported by The Daily Tar Heel) about the role of politics in her position:

"These are all political settings ... and that's the fun of it."

Because the budding futures of our young minds should always be a fun political game. Other games enjoyed by Spellings have been the implementation of Dubya's infamous No Child Left Behind Bill and being paid exorbitant amounts of money to sit on the Apollo Group Board of Directors, the company behind the University of Phoenix.

The failure (and inherent systemic racism employed by) the No Child Left Behind Bill and corruption of for-profit universities aside, Spellings's appointment is a not-very subtle political move by the growing right-wing presence of North Carolina. The remarkably red Board of Governors is, unsurprisingly, elected by the unremarkably red General Assembly of North Carolina (headed by everyone's favorite Lieutenant Governor, Lt. Dan). Pardon me whilst I untangle myself from my string-heavy wall of conspiracies.

It doesn't take a tin foil hat wearing, jet fuel to steel beam ratio measuring, birth certificate enthusiast to smell the bullshit underneath Spellings's nomination. If Pat McCrory's election as governor has taught us anything, it's that conservative lobbyists are very good at keeping a foothold in the South. While North Carolina's urban areas (namely the Triangle) are widely known for being weird liberal pockets, there is a wide swath of the state that still leans heavily red. This isn't because rural people are inherently stupid; rather, it's that they're inherently gullible.

With "fear for our country" currently in vogue, conservative groups and media have been waving the false flag of revolution in a sly attempt to "take back the government" from the morally corrupt. It's sort of like a serial arsonist making a citizen's arrest of a fire marshall. Lobbyists and their talking heads trump up the notion that the country is in danger of vague demons (freedom-hatin' gun-thieves) and convinces people that voting in the flag-bearing, Bible-thumping freedom fighters will turn the country around and improve their stations in life.

This is, presumably, the political fun espoused by Spellings and it's no wonder why she finds the idea so appealing. As UNC System President, she will have a major deciding factor on how the state's massive college and university system shall be run. Being that colleges and universities are one of the last bastions of collective liberalism within North Carolina, this is a terrifying prospect.

Admittedly, much of this is speculation, but with people like Pat McCrory and the Art Pope-run John William Pope Center shilling for you, it's hard not to see the clear and intended trajectory for Margaret as she slithers her way through our educational system.

What should you do about it? I guess just stop going to college and form communes deep in the woods until we emerge decades later to find Trump's preserved head and a committee made up of lifeless piles of money stuffed into suits running our country.

Bernie's Reparations Problem

White people love Bernie. Other people love Bernie too, but white people (namely, liberalbros) LOVE him. I should know, because I am a white dude that loves Bernie. I think he's cool. He likes the same people I do. He appeals to my proclivities. He was a candidate made in my vision of heaven. Great! What a catch!

Sometimes, white people take their love of something, and impose it on everyone else. They've done this, oh, for about as long as they've loved things. We get really excited! We want to share our love of shit with all of you other people. And when the shit we love is seemingly beneficial to marginalized groups and individuals, we REALLY love it because then we can sleep soundly at night knowing that we contributed something good to the world. Bernie Sanders is the collective attempt by white people to wash our hands clean of all the horrible shit we've done. Because saying sorry to each and every one of you is, like, really hard. Why not build an effigy made incarnate by an elderly Jewish politician with the intention of apologizing on a federal level? He wants to end banking....or something, right?

The bush has been beaten around. Bernie Sanders is flawed. If you gasped, scowled or in any way just pooped yourself a little bit, you need to revert back to early teachings and understand that human beings are flawed. No one is perfect. I really hope this doesn't need further explanation.

Being flawed does not preclude being great. Hell, if anything, it is further proof that this person is not, in fact, a Terminator robot, but a human with human feelings and a hunger for human food. We like humans! We like Bernie! But that doesn't mean we have to regard everything he says, does or sneezes as divine creed and unquestionable. If anything, Bernie is the one we should be directing our toughest questions at.

Ta-Nehisi Coates likes Bernie. Probably doesn't love him, though this is up for debate. Coates thinks Bernie could use some work. Coates is a very smart guy. Smarter than me and probably smarter than you. He wrote an article for The Atlantic about Bernie and his problematic views on reparations. It's a short one, so go ahead and give it a look-see before continuing on. Seriously, go read that.

You're back! Yay! Look at you, reading of your own volition. Looks like 2016 is gonna be a great year for you.

Coates makes the point that Bernie's "radicalism has failed in the ancient fight against white supremacy." He also mentions Bernie's various shows of support for activities that would, presumably, reduce the level of racism black people face on a daily (dare I say, hourly?) basis. So what's Coates' beef? Why is he poopin' on the party? Why can't he just LEAVE BERNIE ALONE?

I don't know, necessarily. Sorry to disappoint. I don't know Coates, unfortunately, so I can't really give you his concrete reasoning. I can presume, though. I can presume that Coates likes Bernie and sees him as a step in the right direction. A STEP. Not the whole fucking staircase. Coates probably thinks Bernie is the best person to lodge a complaint against, because many people are under the false pretense that Bernie is "perfect."

The problem with many internet-dwelling BernieBros is that they have trumped (ha) their preferred candidate up to a point of flawless and pristine divinity. Their logic follows: Bernie says mostly good things so he must be allowed to say bad things without critique. Which is, in essence, bullshit. And privileged bullshit, at that.

No, there is no other current (popular) presidential candidate that even comes CLOSE to reaching Bernie's level of pro-marginalized people rhetoric. Yes, Bernie seems to honestly believe in the fight for leveling the playing field and ending systemic racism. But making strides towards a goal is not the same thing as, you know, realizing it. Bernie is, like many of us, still learning the depths of racism in our country. And I can't fault him for not knowing everything that's gone wrong in the past several hundred years. Our government, media and general populace has done a bang-up job of whitewashing history, downplaying the long-term effects of slavery and pretty much ignoring any evidence that today's black communities are directly affected by their ancestors.

Bernie does not support reparations. Coates argues that this is a problem. The question of how/what/where/when reparations will come about is, decidedly, irrelevant in the current discussion. The problem lies in the outright refusal by Sanders to accept reparations as a viable solution. Moreso, the problem lies with Bernie supporters who, in defense of their white knight of progressivism, silence black voices by trumpeting the age-old argument of "this is the best guy for you; why are you complaining?"

Jason Parham, another smart writerly fellow, wrote in response to white criticism of the Black Lives Matter protest that shut down Bernie's speech last August. Here are some very smart words he wrote:

"Call it the politics of civility. It is the practice—and the person-to-person negotiation of this practice in relation to others—of being told how to properly act or express yourself by someone who does not inhabit the same cultural space as you.

Let’s talk about what it means to be black in a society that, for generations, has insisted on your civility. And not just any society, but one, in fact, that has profited from the suppression of your collective power through the dismantling of voting rights laws, redlining, the denial of access to wealth, and the creation of the prison industrial complex, among other horrors.

'Civility,' begins Hua Hsu, 'is invoked as a method of discipline, as a way of sanding down the edges of a conversation.' Thus: Civility is discipline. Discipline is control. Control, in the context of being black—or, more generally, any non-white individual at the edges of society who lacks not just tools, but the access to tools, to fashion a better life for his or herself—in a country that continually insists on your civility even as it offers none in return, is white supremacy."

You can love Bernie and still take issue with his words. You can actively support him as a candidate for president and still take some time to examine his policies and statements. There is nothing wrong with liking Bernie. There is something very wrong with adhering to him blindly and brushing off criticism because you think that it will detract from more "important" things. The problem is, the Bernie Train is very white. And due to this, issues of importance to black people are often brushed aside for issues that are of importance to white people. White folks think we're doing a grand old job of helping black people out. We are under the impression that Bernie's racial platform is enough and that anything else is just beating a dead horse. This is because we're ignorant, though not mean-spiritedly so. We don't have to live under the thumb of white supremacy day in and day out. We forget that, oh yeah, many black people have to live through hell every day.

If there's any point I am trying to cough up, it's that all things should be examined wholly, even Bernie Sanders. And that if you truly believe in the man, you should feel comfortable questioning his policies and making an attempt to guide him in the direction of true equality for all. We should not just stand idly by when something Bernie says does not quite line up with the feelings of those who, let's face it, need change more than we do. We should, instead, criticize and do so openly. Don't kill your darlings, but certainly interrogate them. Do not let your cultural view of the world exclude the cultural realities of others. Because if we fail to hold Bernie to our highest standards, then this whole fight was for nothing.