The ACTUAL Actual Difference Between Women Who Are Hot And Women Who Are Beautiful

This isn't the only phallic symbolism in this article.

It seems that every few weeks, a new article written by someone halfway through college emerges on the internet. Never longer than four or five hundred words, it draws in readers with simple vocabulary and pretty pictures. This is, most likely, a product of Buzzfeed and responsible for the implosion of modern journalism as we know it. But, I digress.

The most recent article being passed around all over Facebook is an account detailing the difference between beauty and "hotness." It is titled "The Actual Difference Between Women Who Are Hot And Who Are Beautiful." Before I jump into the content of this piece, I want to talk about the title. The actual difference. "Actual" implying that it is in contrast to another aforementioned difference stated by.....who? The article doesn't link to a piece titled "The Difference Between Women Who Are Hot And Who Are Beautiful" so I have to assume that the writer of this article does not know the definition of "actual." An honest mistake for someone who doesn't write for a living. A stupid mistake for someone who does.

And speaking of stupid mistakes, the title has another nugget of idiocy. The title states "The Actual Difference Between Women Who Are Hot And Who Are Beautiful." This seems to state that the article is not about the difference between women who are hot and women who are beautiful, but the difference amongst women who are both hot and beautiful.  Now, the latter explanation could certainly be the truth, but considering the article that follows, this is obviously not the case. Twelve words into this piece and there is already a logical mistake and a grammatical one. Let's jump in and see how many brain cells we have by the end of it.

The article starts with a list of characteristics of women that would only make sense if there was a Rorschach test involved. Unicorns? The last time unicorns were relevant was in 3rd grade and even those girls would think this is fucking stupid. Furthermore, the list is meant to demonstrate how men describe women in constant sexual innuendo. Which is ironic considering the origin of the unicorn.

Yes, it's a penis. 

But, as we have already been made aware, this author is no stranger to logical fallacies. She goes on to bemoan how men no longer compliment a woman's soul and how everything is about sex these days. Ignoring the fact that we are but highly-evolved (relatively) animals whose sole purpose in life is to fuck and continue the species, let's talk about beauty in regards to the soul. Wikipedia describes "beauty" as "the characteristic of a person, animal, place, object, or idea that provides a perceptual experience of pleasure or satisfaction." 
That's pretty strict and difficult to attain criteria. It implies something incredibly deep and thoughtful. It implies familiarity with a subject. The description itself it, in my opinion, a thing of beauty. Beauty isn't something that can be found in everything. That would trivialize it and make it arbitrary. Beauty is something that evokes a feeling of bliss in he or she that views or experiences it. I agree with the author that beauty is more than mere physical attributes, but I don't agree that it should be applied to women more often than "hot" is. There are more hot women than there are beautiful ones. The former is easy to find. Physically appealing attributes are common in an age where getting plastic surgery is about as easy as clipping out the appropriate coupons. I see hot girls everywhere and I am perfectly content in pointing it out to my guy friends (albeit crassly) so that we may make crude comments for the following five minutes. But what I don't do is point out the beautiful women that I see. Partly because I would be branded a pussy and tormented for time immemorial. But mainly because I don't see it often in people walking down the street. Beauty can't be conveyed by a mere glance or a conversation. It is something that one must work to find, something that one has to find through familiarity with a person.

Thus, to posit that men are rude pigs because they can't seem to ascribe beauty to every girl they meet is a self-serving load of tripe that has been perpetuated by a horde of people who don't like that the spotlight isn't on them 24/7. To be fair, many men are rude pigs that see women as mere objects. But we don't have a responsibility to remove "hot" from the lexicon because you don't like that we aren't recognizing your staggering brilliance.

This piece was published on Elite Daily which has the barf-worthy tagline: The Voice of Generation-Y. The navel-gazers of my generation seem to adhere to the notion that every one of us is a special font of creativity and beauty just waiting to burst on to the scene and make the world fawn over us. Cynicism aside, you are certainly special and unique, but that doesn't mean you're beautiful to me. Beauty is a subjective thing and to expect me to see it in you is selfish and obnoxious. Do you know what's not beautiful? Whining about how no one understands how pretty you are underneath.

To conclude my musings, allow me to produce an alternate explanation of the difference between women who are beautiful and women who are hot. Women who are hot look good on the surface and give men whiplash. Women who are beautiful can't be described by the writings of a college-aged blogger. Stop trying to define beauty.