I haven't blogged in almost two months now. It hasn't been due to a lack of content to choose from, that's for sure. What with the riots in Baltimore, social justice debates on campus and the rise of Bernie Sanders, I've had every opportunity to join the dialogue and give my opinions on things. And, although giving opinions on things is a favorite past time of mine, I just haven't felt up to it recently.
My friends, this is about to change. Because last night, Mitt Romney (yes, that one) stepped into the boxing ring and fought former five-time heavyweight champion Evander Holyfield (yes....that one). It happened. This is real. This is not a joke, an Onion article nor an elaborate conspiracy.
Mitt motherfuckin' Romney went toe to toe with a professional boxer and......predictably got his ass beat. He did all of this whilst his wife cheered ringside, donned in an uncharacteristically slouchy peasant hoodie and a nonchalantly askew Batman cap. I'm not even fucking kidding.
Loved being part of Mitt's posse tonight. #CVfightnight pic.twitter.com/gBc89JFObV
— Ann Romney (@AnnDRomney) May 16, 2015
Why was Mitt two-time-Presidential-hopeful-and-one-time-Republican-nominee-slash-loser Romney boxing last night, you ask? Evidently, it was part of a charity event that raises money for a nonprofit aimed at helping "doctors perform surgeries for the blind in developing countries."
But why did he REALLY step into the ring? Methinks it was to prove to the world that he's not a cardboard cutout of a man, completely distant from the average American. He's one of the guys. The DUDES. He can fight with the best of 'em and he's got the (very held back) ass-whooping to prove it. Goddamit, he may not be able to win the White House. He may not even be able to win a fight. But sure as shit, Mitt's gonna win your heart.
Never change, Mr. Romney. Never change.
No comments:
Post a Comment