Fox News Debuts Hilarious New Studio

To make fun of Fox News has become an exercise in banality. While it's certainly a font of endless entertainment, it has been well established that Fox News, as a news organization, lacks credibility. But what they lack in credibility, they make up for in showmanship and flashy gimmicks. After all, an audience that thinks that Obama is a Muslim Communist can only absorb information if it's being presented with pizazz by a pretty blonde woman.

Of course they hired her for her legal expertise.

But, alas, Fox News realized that its viewers, as jumped up on freedom as they may be, needed more to hold their attention. There were Tea Party rallies to attend and liberals to yell at; one didn't have time for NEWS. Thus, the Fox News Deck was born. It is fucking ridiculous.

The new studio, in which Shepard Smith will now be broadcasting out of, looks like the set of a B-movie science fiction film. The giant iPad desks, or BATs (Big Area Touchpads) as Shep calls them, are, in essence, touchscreen draft tables. Shep describes their utility as being an easier medium of sorting information for journalists. Journalists who, by the way, will now be working while the camera is rolling and watching them. The biggest surprise here is that Fox News employs journalists. 

Later on in the pandering tour given by Fox's most liberal host and spray tan aficionado, Shepard Smith, there is a demonstration of the remote controlled 38 foot long video wall. With the remote, Shep can move screens from one side of the wall to the other. Its purpose, I imagine, is to briefly divert Shep's gaze from the camera in order to allow people's souls to return to their physical beings. 

All throughout the tour, Shepard along with his producer pals, explains to the audience that this new setup is for them and that it will better help them consume the news. Because what America really wanted all along was for news to be read on a 55 inch touchscreen desk and then presented with a remote. It's like a TED talk except here you leave less informed than you arrived. 

Lightly basted host, Shep Smith, ends his tour with an awkward, stumbling finish that sounds like a stoner trying to explain his fingers to a trash can. But the look on Shep's face implies that it was delivered with staggering eloquence and we can't help but admire his confidence. 

"News pops in and then news breaks....that's sorta the nature of news."

The Fox News Deck is shiny and new and, despite its hilarious and gaudy presentation, is sure to revolutionize news studios across the country. Its doubtful that it will revolutionize it for the better and it most certainly won't magically make the information more accurate as they desperately try to imply in the video tour. But it is sure to have MSNBC scrambling to remain hip and relevant by appeasing more liberal audiences with the same bombastic ambience. As for CNN, well, we all know how their jump into the future went. 

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