Conservatives Still Hate Appalachian State

I know, I know. I don't even go here. But that doesn't mean that stupidity has halted its evil crusade. This week in the Idiotic Global Tour 2016-Indefinitely, people got mad about paper. Namely, paper that insulted their fragile egos. Indeed, the privilege board, made popular by last year's brush with fame and fire, is back on campus and this time, it's front and center.

Ostensibly. I'm not actually there, so I can't really say for sure. But neither can the writers doing all the complaining. Campus Reform, a website dedicated to eradicating liberal intellectualism and (probably) nude art modeling, has taken the summer to replenish their tear ducts and come back to Appalachian once again to cry about the horrible shame foisted upon Appalachian's privileged many. 

"Appalachian State University students must walk past a 'privilege board' denouncing their white, male, able-bodied, Christian, or cisgender privilege any time they enter the Student Union. 

The bulletin board is located in Plemmons Student Union (PSU), which the school calls 'the centerpiece of the Appalachian campus,' and was apparently put up by a student group last semester, but has been allowed to remain in place to date."

It's all in the rhetoric here. Students "must walk" past the board translates roughly to: LO AND BEHOLD, SHEEPLE, FOR THE CRYOGENICALLY FROZEN BOLSHEVIKS WE ALL FEARED HAVE COME ALIVE AND THEY SEEK RETRIBUTION. KNEEL BEFORE YOUR SOCIALLY AWARE GODS AND LOOK UPON YOUR FATE!

"The PSU Mission Statement currently states that it is 'run by and for students,' and 'exists to create a safe and inclusive environment in which the Appalachian community strives to enhance students' academic achievement and social experience.'

The facility also maintains a web page outlining its advertising policies, which includes specific sections for banners, bulletin boards, marquees, and display cases. Registered student organizations are allowed to post banners and marquees advertising upcoming events for up to one week prior to the event, and may reserve display cases 'for event promotions' for up to two weeks. 

Similarly, the policy on bulletin boards states that 'advertisements must be for public events or membership recruitment functions held on campus, but cannot advertise weekly meetings,' and stipulates that 'flyers must be no larger than 11”x17"'"

I would honestly kill for the sort of coverage that the PSU bulletin board policy page is getting. Investigative journalism like this only comes around every decade or so. Speaking of journalism, the decidedly anti-journalism boys over at Breitbart News couldn't pass up the opportunity to get in on the action.

"A prominently displayed bulletin board at Appalachian State University has been taken over by campus collectivists in an effort to encourage certain students to 'check their privilege' during their daily walk to class.

The board is displayed in the Plemmons Student Union building, which ASU calls 'the centerpiece of the Appalachian campus.' The board contains various different posters that condemn white, male, cisgender, heterosexual, Christian, and able-bodied persons who are unaware of their inherent societal privilege."

Sound familiar? That's because it's pretty much THE SAME OPENING PARAGRAPH as the Campus Reform article! And that isn't even the most damning thing about it. The Breitbart writer takes on a far more pointed argument against the board, opining on the nuance of privilege and how, in the end, we're all minorities or something nearly as stupid as that. Aside from the use of the word "subgroups," other notable head-scratchers include:

"What the political right and left fail to realize, is that it is horribly unjust to rob individuals of their natural right to live freely, unmarred by judgments based on subgroups with whom they may or may not consciously have chosen to associate."

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

That's fairly rich all things considered. Stephen K. Bannon, chairman of Breitbart News, was recently (four days ago) hired by none other than Donaldus J-us. Drumpfus to be his new campaign chief, a move heralded by David Duke, former Klan leader and current racist. Duke praised the move as part of the takeover of the Republican Party by he and his ilk. That vitriolic racists didn't already have control of the GOP is the real story here, I guess.

I digress. Pointing out wildly inconsistent ideologies held by a group of people grasping at electable morality is futile. The umbrage isn't that young white males may find themselves wetting their pants at the sight of their own privilege. Nor is it about violating the student union's bulletin board policy. It's about a bunch of thin-skinned whiners who are finding it harder and harder to be offensive dicks.

This privilege board has been a bee in conservative writers' bidets for some time now, and it is precisely what fear-mongers like Andrew Breitbart and Alex Jones (of Infowars) have been frothing at the mouth about for years. It is the supposed indoctrination of America's youth. But America's youth are the ones who put the board up in the first place, and much like me, they think your Campus Reform/Breitbart article is full of shit.