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Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Justin Bieber Officially Announces Retirement


In the spirit of giving, singer and professional douchebag, Justin Bieber has announced his retirement, giving the world a reprieve from his god-awful assault on music. Of course, anyone with half a brain should view this announcement with skepticism as popular performers have a proclivity for publicity stunts such as this. 

But, publicity stunt or not, this announcement is sure to guarantee us at least some amount of time without hearing of the young chanteuse (gender notwithstanding) and his exploits. Perhaps his retirement will grant him some time to retrieve his fucking monkey. 

Merry Christmas, everyone!



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