Plz Vote For Hillary

Hi, how are you? Long time since we talked, I know. Why don't you have a seat? So look.....how do I put this? You know Hillary Clinton? Former Secretary of State? Yes.....yeah, the Benghazi one. Ok but sh-......yes, the email one.

LOOK.

I understand she isn't, well, ideal. In fact, she's fairly far from ideal. I know we were all like "Bernieeeeeeee!" Shit, I still am. Bernie Sanders was a great display of grassroots support and an indication that, at least to some extent, American politics can be put back into the hands of American people. Additionally, the same was shown to be true for the other side. Donald Trump's ascension to the "presumptive" Republican nominee for President is, whether you like it or not, an incredible showing of the will of, well, SOME of the American people.

Unfortunately, conservatives have always been better at rallying around mindless rhetoric and made-up problems than liberals have (though we sure do try our best!) so Trump did a bit better than his liberal counterpart. This is truly unfortunate. But, I'm afraid this is the world we live in.

So, uh, I know you're really not going to like this, but: Please vote for Hillary. I get it. We spent all this time coming up with all sorts of fun (and, in retrospect, a little sexist) nicknames for her to get across our point that we do not want to see her in the White House. But, guys, she's our best bet at this point. The "lesser of two evils" approach is a sorry way to decide the future of a country, but times is hard.

You don't have to get all hyped up about it. You don't even have to post anything on the Internet. So, you know, at least one really good thing will come of this.

I could sit here all day and tell you why Bernie isn't going to win the nomination. Some of it does have to do with corruption. Although corruption is a strong word. I'd go with "unfair collusion" more than anything. Does the DNC favor Hillary? Yep. Can we do anything about that? Not really. It's sort of the Democratic party's prerogative to choose the candidate they want to throw support behind.

Could Bernie still win? I mean, shit, I guess so. Fuckin' Ralph Nader could theoretically win, but I doubt he will. The fact of the matter is, Bernie Sanders appeals to you and me because we are firmly in his base. White, middle class and college educated. (I assume this is my audience?) Bernie appealed to us months ago and has continued to do so since. We've mistaken our own momentum for a rolling snowball of support. It was probably more like a wooden wheel. For clarification, wood does not collect other wood while rolling down hills. At least not to my knowledge.

POINT BEING: Bernie appealed to a large group of people, but not large enough to win him the nomination. He was never able to secure the black vote, which is why D.C. is going to be a bust. He could hijack the convention, but it's unlikely. But hell, if he does secure the votes at the convention by some miracle, by all means throw support behind him. I would expect nothing less than the rallying of the entire Democratic party behind their nominee.

No matter who it is. This includes Hillary Clinton. Please, for the love of God, vote for Hillary if she wins the nomination. Because there is, realistically, only one other option. And he's really fucking dangerous.

It's really easy for us, as white, middle class, college educated "idealists" to give symbolic votes to Bernie for the sake of progress, the future and other shit we can afford to bask in. Unfortunately for the millions of undocumented workers/people/terrified shitless human beings in America, a symbolic vote for Bernie will do little for their current crisis of "Holy shit, is this loud orange American really going to throw us out?"

So, again, VOTE FOR HILLARY. Just do it quietly. You don't have to tell anyone. I'll keep your secret. You can still keep all the Bernie stickers and shit, I imagine. Like, I don't think he's going to ask for it back.

Barack Obama just endorsed Hillary Clinton. Remember Barack? Cool guy. I really like him. So do millions of young and black voters. She's pretty much secured this shit. It is what it is. Bernie has opened some exciting doors and some great dialogue, but now it's time to stop something very bad from happening. Don't stop supporting Bernie, but stop not supporting Hillary.

Plz?