I'm sort of late to the party here so I imagine many of you are already familiar with the recent controversy surrounding the popular A&E television show, Duck Dynasty. For those of you, however, who have taken up residence under a rock, allow me to quickly fill you in. (BUT IN A TOTAL NON-GAY WAY, MR. ROBERTSON)
There's this reality show. It's really fucking popular and has been cited as the most watched cable television show of all time. Is it American Idol? Keeping Up With The Kardashians? Survivor? Bah! Of course not! It's none of your godless distractions from Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Supreme Leader of America and Guardian of Wal Mart. It is the down-to-earth, wholesome, god-fearing Duck Dynasty! The show follows the antics of the Robertson family, a motley crew of self-proclaimed rednecks who made their fortune making duck calls or some such shit. But James, why would millions of Americans sit down in front of their television to watch a bunch of overly bearded gentlemen traipse through the woods shouting at ducks? Besides "I don't have a fucking clue," the main reason is that the Robertson men are known for their uncensored exchanges, often rife with jokes and right-wing rhetoric. Their unabashed pride in their faith and political leanings have earned them high praise among the Conservative community, but that has recently come back to bite them in the beards.
The January issue of GQ contains a profile of the Robertson family written by Deadspin columnist and frequent GQ contributor, Drew Magary. (Who also happens to be a major influence on the early stages of this blog. He's funny and writes incredibly well; check out his books!) The profile itself is, as a whole, fairly harmless. It follows the ever-opinionated, albeit ever-charming, Phil Robertson as he takes Magary around the property and proselytizes to him about the animals being God's gift to man. All seems pleasantly backwoods and awkwardly (but innocently) religious until Robertson drops the bomb that set off the events currently transpiring.
“It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.”Yeah, what the fuck? He would then go on to make several borderline racist comments concerning African-Americans, but as the current hype is focused on the above quote, that's where my transcribed thoughts shall be directed towards.
Look, let me start off by saying this: We live in America and you certainly have the right to say whatever the hell you goddamn please. But you should also expect that the rest of your country's denizens (349,999,999 people to be non-exact) will also have the stated right to voice their opinions as well. Unfortunately for Phil Robertson, a large portion of those right-bearing citizens were not amused by his comments. In fact, the goddamn Internet blew up. It seemed like much of the progressive and younger community took issue with Robertson's statements, and rightfully so. They are, for all intents and purposes, ignorant fucking statements. Yes, Phil seems like a mighty nice fella, but he is clearly not okay with homosexuality and, frankly in this modern world, that's not something we should just be "ok" with. Furthermore, as a public figure with over 12 million viewers and a network to appease, Robertson has an even bigger obligation to keep his opinions on the matter to himself or face the consequences.
We all, as individuals in a free society, have the right to voice our opinions, but we also all face the risk of having our face bashed in should someone not agree with us. As for his suspension from the show, he is an employee receiving a paycheck from A&E. They can do whatever the fuck they want with his employment, including terminate it. But I'm not going to argue the fact that making homophobic remarks is grounds for suspension. Nor am I going to argue that homophobic remarks themselves are fucking ignorant and stupid. If you think that homosexual people are sinful abominations, then you are a witless moron and you should congratulate yourself for reading this far without getting distracted and sniffing your balls.
No, I will merely leave you with the knowledge that I, without a doubt, support the marriage and equal rights of the LGBT community and find Phil Robertson's remarks crude and unfit for a modern society. I acknowledge his right to an opinion but also acknowledge my right to correctly label his opinion as fucking stupid. As for those of you that see no issue in his statements, I direct you to the Civil Rights events of the 60s and the struggle for equality among the black community. (A struggle that many would argue is ongoing) Those who would stand by idly would allow such injustice to continue. But, y'know, that's just my opinion. And if you don't like it, Phil Robertson, you can feel free to lick my hairy male anus.
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