The Morning WTF: The Resurrection of Alien Jesus

Good morning, fellow Americans. (And if you read my blog, you're officially an American for the time being) It's that time of day again: Slightly too late to be morning but still classified as such on my blog. If you're unfamiliar with my blog (shame on you), this is the part of the show where we go down the list of the weird, the topical, and the funny, and I give my (mostly)  uninformed opinion while delivering the information as truthfully as possible. It's like the normal news except I actually fact check! So strap yourselves in, put on your 3D glasses, and take a look at this hottie with a body before we begin. You'll need her:

If only she could act.

Weird: Woman Profits Off Ruining Jesus

If you have an Internet connection and/or access to people with communicative abilities, you have probably heard about the woman who fucked up an 80 year old fresco on the walls of her church. After turning Jesus into a neckbearded monster, public derision came out in full force as people (mostly Americans) gave her shit for ruining Jesus. But it seems that the elderly woman who "restored" this fuzzy collection of colors may be making quite a bit of money off of her newfound publicity. 

Cecilia Giménez, the modern day Pontius Pilate, is now cashing in on her publicity via an art exhibit in her hometown. Not only is she getting her art recognized by the public, but she's also taking home 49% of the profits from sales of merchandise. In addition to all of this, she is proving that while she may not be a good artist, she may still be a good human. Her publicity has drawn over 40,000 visitors to her local church which has, in turn, has helped raise over 50,000 euros ($66,285) in donations for the Sancti Spiritus foundation. 

Terrifying Alien Jesus would approve.

Topical: Egyptian Protestors Killed In Violent Clash With Army

Since the deposition of president Mohammed Morsi in early July of this year, pro-Morsi Muslim Brotherhood protestors have clashed on numerous occasions with security forces in Egypt. On Wednesday, the Egyptian army led a deadly crackdown  on two sit-ins comprised of Morsi supporters. The death toll for Wednesday's clash has been reported to be more than 40 people. The body count for the entire country, however, is much larger.

Al Jazeera English reports that the health ministry has "said at least 149 people had been killed in clashes around the country, but some members of Morsi's Muslim Brotherhood said the death toll was much higher."

Due to the countrywide violence, Egypt has declared a state of emergency, which began at 4pm local time and will reportedly last for a month. The interim president, Adly Mansour, requested that armed forces and police "take all necessary means to maintain security and order and to protect public and private property and the lives of citizens." Let's play a game. It's called "Spot The Irony."

There's a whole lot more going on in Egypt than what I have written here. While it may not be of immediate US concern, it most certainly will be soon. Please take the time to brush up on your knowledge of the Muslim Brotherhood, the Egyptian government, and violent military coups and what they tend to manifest in to. (i.e. dictatorships) Al Jazeera's "Egypt in Turmoil" coverage is the best place to get up to date information on the various current crises. 

Funny: Frat Life 

Dartmouth College is renowned as a place where professors and fellow students inflate you into a veritable windbag. But under the thin veneer of pretentious grandeur, there lies a dark underbelly: frat parties. Much like the Greek life of any school, frat parties are the epicenter of moral debauchery and alcohol doused decisions. Dartmouth, it would seem, is the reigning champion at both of these things. 

And, not to mention, ironic opulence.

But Dartmouth may have gone too far (again) when fraternity, Alpha Delta, threw an interestingly themed party. The fraternity decided that a Bloods vs Crips theme would be a great idea and, really, what could go wrong? Dartblog, a Darmouth gossip blog, published the invitation sent out by the social chairman of Alpha Delta. The blog then went on to slap the fraternity on the hand by bemoaning their decision as derogatory. Comparing the portrayal of street gangs to "caricatures of greedy Jews," Dartblog aptly displayed misplaced sensitivity. 

Somehow less offensive.

Alpha Delta's decision to throw a gang related party may have been badly thought out and possibly detrimental to the school's reputation, but to demand an apology and claim that this violated some societal code is ludicrous. It was a funny party thrown by a bunch of spoiled white people who don't know the first thing about gang life. If anything, it was probably glorifying the lifestyle as opposed to deriding the African American culture. Whether or not that is a good thing may be up for debate, but to cry that this is some sort of vaguely racist jab at black people is silly and unworthy of news attention. 

It should be noted that the fraternity did issue an apology to Dartblog, but I believe it to be unwarranted. But this blog, while an outlet for my opinion, is mainly for you. So what do you think? Do you think the fraternity made an offensive decision to throw the party or do you think that it was an innocent (albeit, stupid) idea? Leave your comments and opinions down below or on Facebook. Also, make sure to like and share my content with your friends, family, and Pagan gods. I apologize that this post is very, very late but, alas, alarms are not always the most effective devices.