Cloudy With a Chance of Sharks

It's day two and the world is as batshit crazy as ever. Let's take a look at today's weird opening act in The Morning Review! This is the part of the show where we take a rapid look at the weirdest/most disturbing shit currently happening on the internet.


 Meanwhile, in the Czech Republic...


If you've ever been on the internet, you're probably aware of Pastafarianism, a "religion" in which its "congregation"...."believes" in a flying spaghetti monster that created the universe after a night out drinking with his (her?) friends. Obviously, this absurd take on creationism is a snide remark on religion as a whole, implying that you can say anything and people will believe it.

But what started as a comment on religion has now entered the physical world in the form of a pasta strainer on a man's head.

Exactly what I said.

According to the Daily Mail, Lukas Novy, a citizen of the Czech Republic, cited his religious faith and the country's freedom of religion in a very warranted attempt to wear this fuckin' thing on his head. Luckily, insane heads prevailed and Lukas was granted the right to wear it, much to the delight of every person on the internet ever. Keep fighting the good fight, Mr. Novy. 

 What The Fuck, CNN?

This category may become its own later on down the road. There's just way too much material to work with. But in today's WTF CNN?, wannabe news anchor, A.J. Hammer (no known relation to Armie Hammer or MC Hammer) reports the hardest hitting news story of the day: the Sharknado inspired bikini.  Creatively named the "sharkini", this new fashion choice will be a way for the several drunk male fans of the movie to finally see what a woman's midriff looks like.

Not to mention, the outside world.

And who better to weigh in on this newest addition to the fashion world than obscure, black comedian, Loni Love. After shamelessly plugging her book, Love Him or Leave Him, Love goes on to humorously suggest that she will be gifting this to all of her friends. That's not weird. What's weird is that HLN gave her "thirty seconds on the clock" to actually talk about a fucking bikini.

But I suppose this shouldn't be a surprise considering HLN only climbs out of its puddle of irrelevance when there are victims to be exploited and trials to cover endlessly. I'm just happy that they didn't ask Nancy Grace what she thought of the sharkini. I can only imagine she would have come to the conclusion that it was racist and that it was responsible for the death of Jimmy Hoffa.

I am sure there is a lot more weird shit to cover but time is short and so am I. Leave your comments down below and tell me what you think! Do you like weird news in the morning? Would you prefer I do it at night? I plan on doing several different segments, but if you have any ideas, feel free to pelt them at my face. Thank you for reading and tell your friends!