The Morning WTF: The Afternoon Edition

Good afternoon and welcome to The Morning WTF! I ignored three alarms this morning so here I am, typing this out as quickly as possible at 11:45 AM. It's possible that I'll get it done before noon, but not probable. But enough about me, here's a lovely lady to start your day:

My god, her personality is enormous! 

Weird: 'Fun' Police Chief Wanted

Unfortunately, many people my age view police as the goosestepping tyrants that they have often proved themselves to be. These quota fulfillers are only in it to get back at the small town bullies that obviously once plagued their youth and won't take shit from nobody because they have a shiny badge. But aside from the gung ho assholes that shoot dogs and randomly assault people reporting a crime, there is a fringe group of policemen and women who just want to have fun. 

Hillsboro, Oregon is looking for a new police chief who knows how to have "fun." Not a very odd request in today's mundane world of paperwork and bureaucracy (a word I can never spell correctly the first time). But what's truly weird is the video they posted to get someone to apply for the job.

The video is unlisted to anyone without a link and I am not nearly skilled enough yet to have learned how to embed unlisted videos yet. Long story short (if you don't want to watch the video), it's an oddly high quality video that features awkward comedy by the city's cops, detectives, and citizens that makes for a surprisingly enjoyable experience. The humor occasionally falls short, but the whole thing is just so bizarre that you can't help but chuckle every now and then. 

Topical: Plane Crash Kills 4, Information Still Developing 

Taking a turn for the serious, a small propeller plane has crashed into a the home of a family in East Haven, Connecticut. The presumed dead includes the plane's owner, a former Microsoft executive, his teenage son, and two boys from the house they crashed into.

Th former executive, Bill Henningsgaard, apparently has a history of plane trouble. Four years ago, he apparently crashed with his 84 year old mother and was only rescued when a passing boat spotted them as their plane began to sink. The Daily Wit extends its condolences to the families of the victims and hopes for a speedy recovery for any others injured in the crash. 

Funny: The Onion Says It Best

Some days, there's just nothing really that funny in the news. Today is one of those days. So today starts a tradition: Whenever I can't find something funny to write about concerning real events, I'll let The Onion entertain you with some fake events. Because, dammit, you will have your daily funnies one way or another. I do not like to disappoint.

 Today, as we are on the topic of law enforcement, read about that bubbling insecurity in all future police officers.

Thank you for reading, fellas and ladies! Today was a very slow news day and I apologize on behalf of America/The World for such things. Fortunately, I am bound by the laws of blogging to put out daily content Monday through Saturday so slow news days mean nothing to me. You, my friends, will get your daily wit. But not tomorrow. I'll see you again on Monday!